v THE NEXT HERALD IS OUT ON 24TH OCTOBER v 3rd October 2019 • The HERALD • Page 73 PART TIME SCHOOL RUN DRIVERS REQUIRED School run drivers required to work for a friendly family run business located in the Totton area. Drivers must be flexible & reliable with a clean driving licence. A New Forest Private Hire licence would be an advantage. A Car and fuelcard will be supplied to the successful applicant This position would ideally suit a retired/semi retired person. Hours will be between 15-20 hours per week with good rates of pay. Please contact Paul or Ross on 023 8086 2040 between 9.30am-4.30pm or email email@example.com Poets Corner HERALD RECRUITMENT She bought a new coat and the colour was red, It really did suit her, it has to be said! Why didn’t she buy blue or maybe a green! Because she likes red and likes to be seen… She bought some red shoes to go with the coat, ere wasn’t much change from a y pound note! e heels were stilettos eight inches high!! She was towering above, she thought she could y! Now, with that out t she needed a bag, And guess what colour she decided to have! Red coat, red shoes, red bag to match, You’d think with all this red she’d be a good catch… Well she looked in the mirror and what did she see, A white haired old lady of one hundred and three! She loved that song ‘Lady in Red’… She wanted to be her, before she was dead! At one hundred and three she didn’t have long, She had to do this, it mustn’t go wrong, Live you dreams, you would hear her say! Don’t keep putting them o ‘til another day... My Lady in Red – Part 1 by Margaret Bell GNOMATULATIONS - EPISODE 5 by Marlene Parmenter There was excitement on our return, Especially from Norm and Nell. They were jumping up and down Unfortunately they were on the well! Down they went with a bang, Luckily there had been a drought. So Ned got hold of his super rod And easily pulled them out. There was loud cheers and laughter Until we saw Norm had a wobbly head. Nancy was so upset “We are going To have to fix him before we can wed”. Nora gave a little wiggle, “You can scrape this off me bum. It’s where those naughty humans Always stick their chewing gum”. Autumn is upon us, Time for resolutions to harden, Despite my deep resentment I must think about the garden, All those yellow ower things at dominate my lawn Must now be cut and gathered In a garden bag forlorn. My craning rusty mower Now unburied from the shed Gave me an angry glower From its settled tool-jammed bed “ e last cut of the year” I say My wife would disagree, I’d order bags of concrete If it all was le to me. And what about the hedges at cocoon my private space? I hear the neighbours grumble at their height is a disgrace. Last year I cut the hedges And I trimmed them perfectly Until I cut the cable. My hedge trimmer ceased to be. e season’s owers and vegetables Now wilted, drooped and dead Remind me that my place to be Is warm, indoors, in bed No, I am not a gardener, My chair my happy place. Autumn is my refuge ough you think me a disgrace. Reluctant Gardener by Warwick Smith We started with the wedding plans, After the repair. Gnome weddings are quite simple But a joyous affair. King Elvis would read the vows, The fairies would bring their lights. The elves would bring the food, Cos they got such massive appetites. A flower path was laid With an arch of watering cans. We walked together on the petals And so it all began. “Ned you must always love her tender. Nancy don’t get him all shook up. Place the daisies on your fingers And drink from the buttercup. You are now Gnome and wife For forever and a day”. But as they went to kiss His rod got in the way! To be continued Decisions. Never a good situation for me. I debated with myself, Should I or shouldn’t I? Leaning on the tired rustic gate Surveying what was before me: A meadow, muddied grass And e Bull. A shortcut saves time, Twenty mintues by my estimation, So is it worth the risk To reach Rosemary sooner? My nal reckoning: certainly I made my play. e gate creaked As I opened it, e Bull looked up, interested. I waited. He looked away. I was halfway across the meadow When he turned Distracted by Rosemary. Trusting my decision, She’d come to meet me. e Bull reached her, It is twenty ninety four, Polar bears are no more. The poles now form a sea, Where ice caps used to be. Harp seals that did abound, They are now longer found. Yangtze almost a river bed, Fish polluted now lay dead. Acid rain kills forest trees, Carried on polluted breeze. Ozone layer wafer thin, Harsh sunlight now let in. The sea now flows inland, And cover houses with sand. Man goes to moon and mars, And beyond to the stars. But he has left the earth, To live on not the worth. It is now far too late, We were masters of our fate. 2094 by Jim Dolbear THE BULL by Warwick Smith Tossed her in the air – And I caught her. She was unharmed: Shaken. “ at was fun!” she said.